Reduce Stress By Banishing Negative Self Talk

Stress occurs whenever we feel that too much is being asked of us and we have no control over the situation, such as tackling a complex project with tight deadlines just as your colleague goes on vacation, or possibly juggling a dental appointment with the school Nativity play and the Christmas food shop all in the same afternoon. But what about the stress we all put ourselves under every day?

Why, when I KNOW it’s what I really want to do, do I NOT settle down to finishing my ebook?  Somedays it seems I will do anything NOT to write.  I know I’ll be really happy when I finish it. Why, when we are in control do we still make excuses not to do something that we actually DO want to do?

Why do we stress our already stressful lives with such self sabotage?

Perhaps the biggest stressor in the developed world today is time pressure. We never seem to have enough time. And yet we all seem to make time to watch our favorite soaps on the TV, or go to a ball game or daydream listening to the songs we just downloaded. So maybe using lack of time as an excuse is simply a way of talking ourselves out of something we actually did not want to do in the first place. Or maybe there is another issue.

Whilst you MAY have a valid reason for not doing something right NOW, there is no reason to suppose we will not have time at some point in the future. More often than not, our excuses are just negative self talk rooted in some other deep insecurity. And it is this insecurity which causes us everyday stress. Maybe you have poor self esteem and do not truly believe you are worthy of success?  Or something else?

Whatever the reason, constant negative self talk can drag us into a downward spiral of inactivity and under achievement. We start to believe in our own excuses, accepting them as true. They can make us miss opportunities and may even make us lead smaller lives than we really want to.

If you find yourself making excuses for why you are not doing something you actually DO want to do, then you are using negative self talk to increase your own stress levels. Stop excuses from destroying your life. If you would rather live life to the max, laugh lots and meet challenges with excited anticipation, then look inside yourself and figure out why you are using negative self talk – and address this issue. Counseling, self hypnosis and positive affirmations can all help with this, which makes these all very good stress relief techniques . But YOU have to do them

When repeated often enough, self talk becomes real. So make sure your self talk is positive. Do not let your excuses hold you hostage. Use positive affirmations to help change your mindset and you will become empowered, achieve more and feel less stressed.

I use affirmations a lot but they need to be used daily to be most effective.  I am thinking of writing something on this topic as I believe a great many people would like to know more but believe that positive affirmations belongs out there with the tree huggers.  What do you think?  Please leave a comment and let me know.

What Is The Only Guaranteed Way To Beat Stress?

Many people assume that stress is a fact of life – that children do not experience it and that occasional overbearing stress is just a way of adult life.  But is are these truths or myths?

I say, myths.

There are people who live relatively stress free lives.  These people can have the same harrowing jobs, the same hassles with the traffic on the school run and really tough family issues.  They can have been laid off or be facing serious money worries and yet they do not get as stressed as we do.

Everyone knows that there are ways to reduce stress which involve taking it easy at precisely the time when you do not have time to take things easy.  And knowing that you do not have time to address your stress levels only makes things worse.  Certainly, taking a break, walking more, using stress balls, having a massage, doing some deep breathing and so on are all very effective stress relievers, but they are all aimed at the here and now element of your stress rather than the root cause.  Which means that whatever is causing your stress will still be there when you have finished your massage.

So how can you treat the cause of your stress rather than just the symptoms? 

Again this is very hard to do, depending on what your particular stressor is.  After all, if you are under pressure because you are going through a difficult divorce, looking after infirm relatives or have a difficult boss, these circumstances are unlikely to improve without considerable input from other people over the long term. 

Which means that your stress will likely still be there next year, and the year after… So does this mean that there is no hope for beating stress?


There is one thing, and only one thing, which is guaranteed to bring permanent relief from long term stress.  You have to change your perspective and decide not to get stressed about it.  Easier said than done.

Or is it?

I’ll let you know how I do this in another post, but feel free to leave your tips in the comments below.