Do You Need To Ignore Your Lover?

I believe a positive mental attitude is key in achieving success, however you define success.  But getting and maintaining a positive mental attitude in the face of doom merchants and naysayers can be hard, even downright difficult.  One of the commonest blocks to success has got to be the negative attitudes and projections of the very people you would expect to be your strongest supporters.

Your spouse, your parents and your best friend.

Don't ListenThink about it. If you are trying to make a change in your life, improve yourself in some way, change career, start an online business, lose weight, stop smoking, write a book, or anything at all, there will be a time when you need to change the way you think and move outside your comfort zone. This can be scary and is the time when you are most vulnerable. It is the time when you need the support of your nearest and dearest.

And it is exactly this time when your loved ones can pour doubt and derision into your brain instead, sabotaging your positive mental attitude and with it, any chance of your success.  Why would they do this?

Simple. Your success affects them in a negative way.

Every relationship can be thought of as a see-saw in equilibrium. Both sides are balanced. It doesn’t matter how unequal the relationship is. It is what it is. And for as long as the people in it keep doing whatever they usually do, it can be thought of as “in balance”.

But when you decide to change yourself and do something different, this alters the equilibrium of every close relationship you are in. The see-saw becomes unbalanced.

This feels odd, uncomfortable and scary for the people in the relationship. To regain the relationship balance, or to get the see-saw back into equilibrium, the OTHER person must ALSO change, and they may just not want to. After all, THEY didn’t want to change in the first place. So they do the next best thing.

They try to stop you from changing. Instead they force you back into the box you are trying to get out of. They sabotage your chances of success by filling your mind with doubt.

Unless you are very strong, you listen to your loved ones. You listen as they tell you how worried they are that you will fail. You listen as they explain it isn’t for you and isn’t it just better to stay where you are? You start to believe them. You bury your dreams and go back to living the way you were.

OR you realise they’re scared for you, for themselves and what the new you will mean to your relationship and home life.  If it will help, talk excitedly about your project to drum up their enthusiasm if you can.  Show them your resume if you’re changing jobs.  Explain how much time will be involved if you’re following a course.  Reassure them you will still have time for them.  Do everything you can to explain how you’ve minimised your risk of failure.

But accept that sometimes it’s just too hard for your loved ones to accept the changes in you.  That’s why friends and family members “grow apart”.

If it’s your spouse who is the doom merchant and naysayer, you need to tread more carefully.  If you KNOW that what you are doing will improve the lives of you both, then do NOT seek their approval.  If it’s a big thing, like moving house to get a job, or stopping smoking when both of you smoke, then fight your corner but be prepared to compromise on things like timing. However, if you’re trying to make a success of a personal goal, like losing 30 lbs weight or learning to write poetry, find a support group and just go for it.

Sometimes your nearest and dearest just do NOT have your best intentions at heart, however much they think they do. Sabotaging your positive mental attitude by sowing doubt is one way to keep you from ultimately forcing change on them.

And vice versa.

So remember that next time YOUR loved one asks YOU to support a life change!

Hypnosis For Self Improvement

People usually think of people making fools of themselves by stage hypnosis when the topic of hypnosis comes up.  This is unfortunate because it scares people and makes them unreceptive to the real therapeutic uses of hypnosis.

Hypnotherapy can be used in many different ways and is especially useful in the area of “self improvement.”  For example, it can be used to change bad habits, overcome fears or live a more healthy lifestyle. To highlight this, I’ve listed a few of the best uses of hypnosis for self improvement.

Quit Smoking.  Smoking cigarettes is a bad habit and one that many people actively seek to give up every year.  It hurts people’s health in the short term (making them much shorter of breath) and also in the long term.  However, smoking is addictive.  It’s extremely difficult to stop smoking cigarettes. But hypnotherapy has been proven effective in helping people to quit smoking cigarettes time and time again.  I actually know people in my own life who have been able to stop smoking with hypnosis.

Losing Weight. You may not believe this but hypnosis is actually one of the most effective ways to lose weight.  Why?  Bad eating habits and bad exercise habits are what really cause someone to get fat.  Those habits are very hard to change consciously.  However, hypnosis works at the subconscious level.  You (or anyone else with a weight problem) will be able to lose weight if they make the right food choices and exercise choices on a daily basis.

Sleep.  One of the best (and in a way most obvious) uses of hypnosis is to help with sleeping problems.  I have experience with this myself. I had a lot of trouble with not being able to get to sleep and then I got some “get to sleep” hypnosis mp3s to play in my iPod while I was lying down in bed.  This method allowed me to simply listen to my headphones and fall asleep easily.  No pills necessary!  This is a great thing because sleeping pills are bad news.

Stop Nail Biting.  This is another bad habit that can be stopped through the use of hypnotherapy.  A habit like this is extremely difficult to stop consciously but it can be quite easy to stop subconsciously using hypnosis.

No More Fear Of Flying. Fears such as a fear of heights and a fear of flying are all irrational which makes them difficult to lose with the conscious mind.  Fears like these can be removed from the subconscious with hypnosis.

Improved Confidence. Improving your overall confidence with hypnosis can improve your life in so many ways.  It’s very hard to do this with your conscious mind.

However you use hypnotherapy (and there are a lot of ways) please forget the old idea of hypnosis that you see in the movies.  It is “mind control” and it’s not scary.  I highly recommend hypnosis to anyone who wants to improve themselves in some way.

Hypnosis can also be used for more nefarious purposes such as to hypnotize people during conversation. But Marvin J. Markus prefers to use it for self improvement. The Unexplainable Store is recommended.  Article Source: