Sometimes it is easier to push on an open door

Have you ever had the kind of day when nothing went your way?  Have you ever felt so frustrated with what you were not achieving that all you wanted to do was scream? 

 

Have you ever considered that this was all in your head and you were in fact doing it all to yourself?

 

I have.

 

At the moment we have got the builders working on a two storey extension.  They are doing a great job.  They turn up when they should, do what they say they will and, as builders go, don’t play their radio overly loud.  And, because I established right at the beginning that I do not make cups of tea, they brought their own kettle, mugs, tea bags and milk on site!

 

But there are SO many questions! 

 

Exactly where do we want the drains?  And the drain covers?  Where do we want the internal walls?  Exactly how high do we want the window sills?  Exactly where are the windows going?  And on and on and on.  I have no idea how they cope when there is no-one around to ask!

 

But these questions get you thinking. 

 

I found myself getting very fixed opinions about the smallest issue – things that I would not have even noticed had the builders just gone ahead and done something.  But I found myself behaving as if there was only one right answer.  Where we disagreed, I began competing against my husband for my idea to “win”.  We were piling unnecessary stress into our relationship.

 

And it was so silly.

 

One morning I woke up and just realised that if we had bought the house with the extension already built, we would not have even noticed whether the window would have looked better 8 inches to the left. 

 

We had lost touch with what actually mattered. 

 

The builders were not looking for a right decision.  They just wanted a decision – ANY decision – so that they could continue working.  And as we were at home, they thought that our views should prevail as it was our house!

 

As soon as I realised just how silly it all was, I began agreeing with the first suggestion made unless I had a reason to request something different.  I began to go with the flow.

 

And you know what?  Without the constant arguments, my other half began to do the same.

 

Sometimes we need to recognise when we are stressing ourselves just for the sake of it.  Save your stressing for situations that justify it.  Do not become frustrated unnecessarily.  Learn to see when you can alter your mindset easily and just choose to do it. 

 

Decide to enjoy simple pleasures.  Do not go looking for battles.  Reconnect with what you actually think is important.  Go with the flow a bit more often.  You will be amazed what it can do for your own stress levels.

 

My grandma used to say that it is easier to push on an open door than a closed one.  She was right.