Have You Forgotten How To Be Happy?
By Susan Owen-Thursfield, October 13, 2009“If you want to be happy, be” - Leo Tolstoy
I have come to the conclusion that there are some people in this world who are just determined to be miserable and unhappy. I don’t mean people suffering from clinical depressions or those fighting a seemingly never ending misery. No. I mean those people that seem to want to be forever miserable and who seem to enjoy being surrounded by grief and failure. These folk find negativity in everything and are never cheerful.
However, there are also people who appear doggedly determined to be happy no matter what life throws at them. These people always make the best of everything, despite everything.
I know people in each of these camps. But why is there such a difference?
Happiness is a state of mind. Unless you are clinically depressed, you can just decide to be happy. Happiness is brought about by positive thoughts. The problem is that, unchecked, many people find it easy to sink into a pattern of negative thoughts and negative inner speak. This works to make us miserable, more stressed, tired and overwhelmed.
However, if we choose to stop following our negative thoughts and to make our inner speak positive instead, it has a remarkable effect on our demeanour. A positive mental attitude lifts your mood, makes you feel more motivated, energetic, happier and generally makes everything seem better than before.
“Happiness is a habit – cultivate it.” - Elbert Hybbard
Changing your inner speak from negative to positive is not easy. Let’s face it, not much in life worth having is easy. But if it’s worth having, it’s worth working for.
So why do so many people seem to choose to have a negative attitude? Maybe because it’s easier to think that someone else just has it better than we do rather than taking the responsibility for our actions and admitting that we could do a lot more to help ourselves? The grass is always greener on the other side, but that doesn’t mean it tastes better.
Every one of us faces many challenges during our lifetime. And just because someone seems to be having a good time right now, it may be that they are just coming to the end of a major crisis, or perhaps they are about to head into another one! We never know exactly what goes on in someone else’s life.
So rather than wish your lot in life was different, decide to do something with your own. Think positively. Train your mind to be happy. Wearing a smile, however false, actually fools your body into thinking that you are happy. This causes the release of “feel good” endorphins, which then make the happy state a self fulfilling prophecy.
So do you want to be happy or not? The choice is yours. Decide to be happy. After all, why wouldn’t you?
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8 Comments to “Have You Forgotten How To Be Happy?”
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4:33 am on October 14th, 2009
Hi Susan,
Excellent post and definite food for thought! I do understand the concept of choosing to be happy, but I also do believe it does have a bit to do with the people we surround ourselves with as well.
There have been many times in my life where I have chosen to be happy and have had many a negative person put me down, it can be hard sometimes to shut these types of people out especially when they are family and friends!
Sometimes I find it is easier to be happier on the inside so to speak! Happiness can often occur with the littlest things, like my little ones smile
Hope all is well.
Kind Regards
Jacinta
4:34 pm on October 14th, 2009
Thanks Jacinta! I am sensitive to others’ moods to so have to make sure I avoid certain people unless I am “bombproof”, or else I too would end up depressed! Very good point about the kids too. All the best!
6:28 pm on October 14th, 2009
Very interesting article, and coming out at a perfect time. There’s a certain author out there making the talk show/op ed circuit telling people positive thinking doesn’t work and that it’s actually DESTOYING America! I was like…hmmm. I know that while I do have my occasional down days, I’ve found that taking a positive attitude is much better than getting stuck in a negative one. Seems to me some think ‘positive thinking’ means everything is going your way…not so. Positive means you choose to have a joy and an attitude of gratitude no matter what the circumstances. I’m not there yet, but it is what I strive for each day…so I’ll be back to read more inspiration from you, that’s for sure.
8:48 pm on October 14th, 2009
I totally agree, Sabrina! And having read a number of your posts, I say, “You rock girl!” Welcome anytime!
9:43 pm on October 15th, 2009
Hi Susan,
Great post. You know my thoughts on positive thinking, and I do choose to be happy. I hope you are well!
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
1:12 am on October 16th, 2009
Thanks Susan for the inspiring post and for reminding me where I need to keep my head…;)
Sabrina summed it up nicely with her “attitude of gratitude.” Isn’t that what free will is all about?
enJOY…
Kathy
12:47 pm on October 17th, 2009
Very useful post Susan. I like the Tolstoy quote. I’ve always been a big believer in Postive Mental Attitude. If you can free yourself from worrying about, or even considering, what other people think about you, then you have a clear route to happiness. Looking forward to more posts on this.
John
8:33 pm on October 28th, 2009
Thanks John –
PMA is certainly worth striving for and I totally agree that there is a freedom which comes from not caring what others think about you. As they say “sing as if no-one is listening, dance as if no-one is watching, love as if you’ve never been hurt” and now “think as if no-one is judging”. Cheers!